When the stars align

I've seen the stars align before - is it time? 

Is it time to stand up for what we believe in, or is it time to stand up for each other? I've seen it all before; how people stand up for what they believe in out of faith, and how they stand up for each other out of love. But I've never seen anyone stand up for me.
            I lift my eyes to the skies and through the tears I count the stars to a million, and then to a million again. But when I look back at the world nothing has changed, and I'm still all alone. Alone in the world with a couple of million stars gazing down on me. I might never know if its time or not, but I've chosen to always stand up for my friends and those closest to my heart. I just wish upon the millions of stars above that I'll meet someone along the way that will do the same for me.
            My life is like a night where no stars shine, it's completely covered in darkness. I'm so tired of being alone in the darkness. I keep all my friends on distance; afraid they'll hurt me or grow tired of my company, and then run away. I've traveled this road for so long that I've become afraid of letting someone in. Afraid of love, but also so tired of loneliness. 
            I turn my eyes to the skies once more, and suddenly I know why the stars align. It's for me. It's time to concur fear of love and time to let people in. I'm filled with fear, but I can also feel hope. Hope of a brighter future where I won't have to be afraid to let people in or that they will grow tired and ran away. Brighter days will come, but it won't be easy. Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and I'm turned around. I find myself in a warm embrace and I can feel the love pouring over me. I'm afraid to let it in, but I can't hold up the façade anymore. With a sigh I let it all go, and for the first time in forever I'm not alone. Yes, this is the time for me, but also for us. Time to stand up for one another, and for our beliefs. 
I've seen the stars align before - it's time!

This is for you - the start of new a adventure.

They are all going on and on about how everything is going to change when you leave. How hard it will be for them, how empty it will be and how nothing will be the same. But when they worry about their new everyday-life without you, I worry about you. 

            I've never had the courage to take everything I have and move away. I dream of it, but until this day I've never done it. This fall, you do exactly that. It is one thing to pack your stuff and go away for a few months and then come back, but this time you're off for a new beginning somewhere else. A new home. New church. New school. New people. Everything will be new, while the old is left behind. 
            I worry about you. We loose you, but you loose all of us. You leave family and friends behind, everything you know for this new adventure. I believe this new adventure will leave you speechless and this will always be something you can look back on with gratitude and a smile on your face. Yes, there will be hard times when you question yourself, but I tell you to hang on. God tells you to hang on and trust in Him. 
            There is one person you all bring with you on your new adventure - God. And you know that when He is on your side, nothing can go wrong. You'll be right where you're all meant to be. You will miss your old home, and we will all be missing you - like crazy - but this is for you. And even if I worry, I still believe this will be the best time of your life. 
            You'll make a new home, meet a new church-family, make new friends and in a way start a new life. But remember us here back home. We'll see you when we come to visit, or when you visit us and we'll hear all your stories from this new adventure. You'll always have a special place in all our hearts. We'll never leave you even if you are far away, and I'll always know that you never really left us, even though it's miles and miles between us. 
            Remember, this is for you - and we're all right here in your heart and we're not going anywhere. Now, go and start your new adventure - it's time. 

Love you, miss you, and wish you all the best! 

Mina nostalgi-sambosar flyttar denna vecka till grannlandet för att börja studera. Ena till Göteborg, och den andra till Umeå. ML tar visserligen med sig två personer då hennes andra hälft också joinar flyttlasset till Umeå, och tur är väl det! Älskar er och kommer sakna er massor! Jag kommer och hälsar på er när jag kan och snyltar lite på era äventyr, men annars fortsätter vi andra våra egna äventyr här hemma! 

Courage to open up your heart after having it closed for so long

To let your heart be open to both yourself and to others is not only a scary thing, it is an immensely hard thing to do. And at any day and any time, something might happen to you that makes you close your heart. Not only to others, but maybe even to yourself.

            To lock down your own heart is the beginning of a lonely life. Just because this one thing happened to you it will be so, so hard to let people in in the future. And when you finally do and the person doesn’t respond  - it hurts so bad that you’re even more scared to let people in, and you close yourself down even more.

            In the end you’re unable to open up your heart because there’s so many persons that have let you down. Your life is now lonely and hurtful. Your always wearing a mask that tells people you’re OK, pretending to be strong. One day your pot will start to burst and everything will boil over - until you once again open up to someone. If you’re lucky that one person will listen to you and pull you up, and you can slowly start to heal. You'll learn to open up and hopefully there are people along the way that can support you, and I pray that that someone never let you down so you fall right back down.

            But if you’re not lucky, I’m afraid the spiral will continue downwards – until that day someone comes along and listens to you, sees you or lend you a helping hand, so that you finally can start to climb upward and start to heal. It’s a long way up and even if it is that simple, its not easy. All it takes is one person willing to love you for who you are – all your luggage, all your failures, wrongdoings, good and bad sides.

            I hope this one person, who has the power to change everything for you, also has the strength and heart to love you when you can’t accept their love - when you don't believe that you're lovable. A person that has the ability to lift you up from your deepest shadows, make you laugh again, and for one moment forget all your troubles. Someone who has the patience to be able to give you the greatest gifts of all – your life back.

            This person – or these persons – is more important than they'll ever realise.

Thank you.